So, Hannah and Jourdan and I were down on the Columbia Park Trail yesterday, and came up with a brilliant movie idea.
We should film the geese.
I know, I know. Geese, right? They're smelly, honking, feathered balls of irritation. They flock together, have pea-sized brains, and nip at your kid's butt when Jimmy tries to feed em stale bread.
Yess... but watching their daily activities is hysterical!
So here we are - Peach, Plum, and Pear - just getting a kick out of these geese, when Hannah starts speaking for one of them. We took on voices for the geese, Andrew-style, and had a blast.
There were about 30 or 40 geese just meandering, attempting to cross the road, or freaking out at cars. It was entertainment to the max.
When I got home, characters for a goose-type motion picture - mmhmm, "Goose Tracks" - began to form in my head.
I e-mailed my dear friend Hannah with some sketches of the personalities. Keep an open mind. Take the red pill sucka.
Here they are now:
Here they are now:
Harold - He's an oldey. Easily frightened, he is often the prey of prankster seagulls who love a good laugh. His specs are chronically misplaced.
Phillip - Germaphobic. Loves plaid. May be gay.
Vilma - Pleasantly plump, she enjoys a good meal. Her hearty laugh interrupted by honks is her most darling feature. She and Harold were sweethearts back in the day.
Clarence the Wise - No one really knows how old this goose is. Rumor has it, he was the very first to pioneer an "Asphalt Crossing"... Sit down and listen to the guy, he's a frickin' enigma.
Birch - Named after the tree his late father flew into. He has self-esteem issues. Tried poisonous berries one time and walked around singin' Born to be Wild for days. That kid can air-guitar like no other.
Mark - Uncontrollable bowels... Mark just can't hold it in. Poop, poop, pooperz poop poop. He's a pooper. He had a girlfriend once. Think she got hit by a boat.
Phillip - Germaphobic. Loves plaid. May be gay.
Vilma - Pleasantly plump, she enjoys a good meal. Her hearty laugh interrupted by honks is her most darling feature. She and Harold were sweethearts back in the day.
Clarence the Wise - No one really knows how old this goose is. Rumor has it, he was the very first to pioneer an "Asphalt Crossing"... Sit down and listen to the guy, he's a frickin' enigma.
Birch - Named after the tree his late father flew into. He has self-esteem issues. Tried poisonous berries one time and walked around singin' Born to be Wild for days. That kid can air-guitar like no other.
Mark - Uncontrollable bowels... Mark just can't hold it in. Poop, poop, pooperz poop poop. He's a pooper. He had a girlfriend once. Think she got hit by a boat.
And so, my quest begins for amusing character descriptions to not only make me laugh, but to stow away for a future documentary opportunity... :)
Post yours.
ha ha...
- Jess <><
Post yours.
ha ha...
- Jess <><
10 comments:
Man I wish I was with you right now... I can't stop laughing :)
'he was the very first to pioneer an "Asphalt Crossing"... Sit down and listen to the guy, he's a frickin' enigma.'
Good one Jess. Pure Brilliance... here's one for you...
"Man those humans sure are odd looking, I wonder what they think about..."
"Hmm, I dunno Clarence, I mean judging by the size of their heads, not much..."
"Very true... nice observation, you can't fit much in there huh? Ha! Poor guys..."
Oh gosh... we're making a movie next week for sure.
Johnny: Obsessed with small caucasian children. A real people person. Has an air soft injury in his left wing...follows the crowd.
Cassandra: Adolescent alcoholic.
Fabio: life song
"Love...you didn't do right by me"
Has a "thing" for Cassandra.
and Paul: Nerd. Total nerd. Always thinking about trigonometry and the air speed velocity of a sparrow.
Rocky: Speaks with a Godfather-type accent, as if his cheeks are full of marbles. Fancies himself an alpha-male but all the she-geese knows he's really just compensating...
So feel free to add mine to your blog... wow. too funny.
Scharfschütze - The bipolar younger brother of Clarence the Wise. His first personality is that of a delirious veteran of the infamous "Asphalt Crossing". Frequently reenacts events from his youth, explaining the events which occurred 'back in phalt' to the typically naive or extremely bored goose willing to lend an ear. Most waddle off cautiously with a few incredulous double-takes followed by a frantic hop-and-flap once out of his pouncing range. His second personality is that of a classy bowling alley barista. A result of his prior living local. It is during this swing in his personality dysfunction that Cassandra happens to swing by and fluff her somewhat matted, but still shimmering feathers. Clarence discretely denies any relation with the aid of his many body guards who monitor the location and dialogue of his troubled brother. He’s most certainly a frikin’ enigma. Harold is constantly doing his best to convene a committee to formulate a plan to isolate the troublesome Scharfschütze. Unfortunately he’s really the only goose that can write, or who understands petitions. That is, besides Paul, who really enjoys Scharfschütze’s banters anyway. As long as they aren’t forwardly violent.
Haha, wow this is fun…I’m done for now.
Dang, this is gettin good... ;)
You are amazing Jessica
nevermind, I posted it... :)
You are too funny.
Laughed my butt off! This is great; I'd pay to see the movie!!
I love your creativity!
Z
:)
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