Thursday, December 25, 2008

Metamorphosis - Part I




Expectantly, with a buzzing anticipation in her bones, she touched her face to the glass. Waiting, watching. It was as if her life was being transformed from the inside out and she, by golly, had a front row seat. She watched as her rotating, true body hung lifeless. Suspended in the middle of a darkened room. Simple and circular. “Where is the life?” She wondered.


All at once, the head on top, in the center of the room, twitched a little. As if in shock, Jessica touched her own head to feel it vibrating softly. Inside the room, crystal, light-filled, green eyes snapped open and looked about. Jessica felt her whole body begin to collapse as this other part of her came gently alive. The Spirit-woman – beautiful, righteous, and true.


“Come out, come out!” The voices of many little children rang in Jessica’s ears. She closed her eyes and faded from this world to the next.


All fear was definitely gone and Autumn was acutely aware of the body she left behind.

“Don’t worry about the former things. The old has passed. The new has come.”

A lion’s voice.

“Come forward into the place I have called you. My beloved, believe and see.”

Monday, November 03, 2008

Purity

Purity of thought, purity of deed
Lord of my heart, won’t you please rescue me?
From this world of hate and lingering pressure to be
Not as I wish, but as I am not.

I think there is only One.
Yes, there is only ONE who can
HEAL me and rake me clean
Oh, less and less dirty substance.

Feel me?

Throw me

A question, and answer SET

I wish to be known.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Hey Y'all!

I am doing so well! Friends are good, life is good, weather is GORGE.


I got a 41/50 on my math midterm.. not as well as a I would have hoped, but an honorable score.. :)


I’m working on 16.3 right now in the library. I just talked to my “Study Session” leader about becoming a study session leader for next quarter and it seems like that is going to be a great option for a job for me.. flexible hours, teaching experience, math... I think it will be great!


So when I first got here, on one of the first weekends, there was an evening “Java Jam” on Santa Lucia’s back lawn. There were people performing and I wanted to join in, so I grabbed my guitar and signed up for one of the slots. I asked that God would change the atmosphere through me and that people would see the light in me.


Recently, I received an e-mail asking me to play for another open mic event for the halls this weekend! I replied that I would love to, and so, I will be doing that on Friday evening! Please pray that it would not be about me, but that the people listening would be radically touched by God. mm. amen.


I miss you guys so much and CANNOT WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS!!! WHOO HOOOO! It’s only like 8 weeks away until I’ll be home! I should start a countdown.


OooooohH!!!!


7 weeks and 1 day


!!


LOOOVE,

-Jess <><

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

In Sickness and In Health

I think I’m getting sick.. beginnings of a sore throat.. bummer! I’m trying to adjust my sleeping patterns and begin to live more healthily with regards to what I eat and the activities I do (more exercise).

With each of you as my witness, I am committed to getting to bed before 11:00 every night and waking up early to have some intense alone time in the morning before I start my day. I will choose to eat more fruits and veggies and eat only when I’m hungry. I will take better care of my body and exercise more frequently (e.g. take walks, bike rides, hikes, runs and stretch more).

As much as I’m doing this physical overhaul, I’m really showing on the outside what’s happening on the inside. God is taking me through this rigorous process of cleaning me out. Praise you Jesus. I love you.

He’s teaching me SO much about love, life, happiness, trust, focus, spirit, truth...

Pray that I have the strength to take all this instruction and learn it with every fiber of my being.

Update on my mind (since you got physical, and spiritual, let’s throw an emotional in there :) I have a ticket home and back for Christmas break! I was SOOOOO excited to see that beautiful itinerary. I’m already getting so pumped to come home and be with you in the lovely Tri-Cities winter. : )

It’s October and feels like May here. : ) Pumpkins, scarves, hot chai tea lattes??? Where art thou?

I want my spark back. I want to be so passionate about life. I’m on the track back into physical, spiritual, and emotional health, but it’s a CONSTANT battle, so your prayers and thoughts are much appreciated!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Bye!

I love you guys... sorry I haven't been blogging much!

I am on my way out of the Tri-Cities for a while. I'll be going to California with my mom and sister on Monday morning this next week! Cal Poly here I come!

I'll be taking a two math classes and a physics class and an "Orientation to the Math Major" class.

That's right folks, I'm switching to a Math major!

:)

No longer will I be pursuing architecture as the career of my dreams, but will now be taking tons of math classes to hopefully become a math teacher. I've always loved math and loved teaching and.. teaching math. :)

This change is totally God and I feel incredible peace about the decision.

SO, linear algebra, new friends, and living on my own... all new experiences. Happening within the next couple of weeks! Wow!

Thanks to all for your support and love. You mean the world to me. God bless each and every one.

MUAH,
- Jess <><

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Surrender... What does that mean?

All to You

I surrender

Everything, every part of me


All to You

I surrender

All of my dreams, all of me

- Surrender


What does surrender look like?
Well, it looks humble, given over to God, selfless, free.

This is the automatic outflow of asking God to take it all.

Father, you gave everything, now I, Father, give you everything.

Lord bless people I meet today. Let them receive a God-touch just by breathing the same air.

Love you Daddy,
- Jess <><

p.s. worship music is so powerful

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Thursday, May 29, 2008

Brokenness

Father, bring me to a state of brokenness. I am so full of myself sometimes. Almost all the time.

God, you and you alone are deserving of praise. Not I, not anyone on this earth can comprehend your vast greatness and mercy. You loved me first. I can't believe you could love me like this.

The following pieces from an excerpt out of Real FamilyLife magazine (Nov. 1997) have hugely convicted me of my desperate need for brokenness and repentance.


The Beauty of Brokenness


Proud people look down on others.
Broken people esteem all others better than self

Proud people have an independent, self-sufficient spirit.
Broken people have a dependent spirit and recognize the need for others.

Proud people need to maintain control: must be my way.
Broken people surrender control

Proud people have to prove that they are right.
Broken people are willing to yield the right to be right!

Proud people have a desire to be a success.
Broken people have the desire to be faithful to make others a success.

Proud people feel confident in how much they know.
Broken people are humbled by how much they have to learn

Proud people are self-conscious.
Broken people are not concerned with self at all.

Proud people are concerned with being "respectable"
Broken people are concerned with being real

Proud people are concerned about what others think
Broken people know that all that matters is what God knows

Proud people compare themselves with others and feel deserving of honor.
Broken people compare themselves to the holiness of God and feel desperate need for mercy


WOW.

That last one is incredibly convicting.

God is SO big. He is so LOVE. Let him deal with your pride.

We are entering a rapidly-moving, humility-requiring, intense spiritual era on this earth. The ball is rolling, but we need to make sure our hearts are clean and ready to move with Him.

The Lion, Jesus, has awakened my heart.

Let's roll.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Power, Love, Sound Mind

"Gone are the days of timidity. From this day forward you will walk in boldness."
- Lynda Meyers speaking over me this morning


God has not given us a spirit of fear. God has not given us a spirit of fear. But He has given unto us a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and of sound mind.

Power, Love, Sound Mind is MINE.



Fierceness return. This is my spirit-cry. My El-Shaddai.

He completes my walk, makes me pure, beautiful, glorious.

Thank you Father, for this season. You've grown me so much. It's not over yet. But I choose this day to end the madness. The lies of the enemy will permeate my mind no longer. He has been defeated. Christ's love well up in me. Thank you for giving me vision. God, you are good.

Lord, give me a new understanding of your supremity. Your arm is so far-reaching. Beyond time and space. You are motion unveiled. Freedom ignited. Falsity expelled.

God, I let go of my pride, my need to get things done, my need for approval. I lay these things down and accept into my heart the words you speak over me.

You call me as your own. Your bride. Your beautiful one. I have been called to free the prisoners, cry into the darkness and call forth those who are not yet as though they are. Open my eyes and ears father.

Love you,
- Jess <><

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Birds and the Bees... awkward? :)





I am creating a photo and music project for a graduation requirement. I love pictures and I love melodies... so together, this should be pretty sweet. Add a taste of the divine into the picture, and I'm pretty sure it's a winning combination. :)





I was taking picture of the myriad of bees that have invited themselves over to our cherry tree block party. I asked God to take the pictures. He made them great! His creation, His photo... it just makes sense.




Let's invite God into everything we do. He can make it infinitely more meaningful and beautiful. It's true!

- Jessica <><

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Capture the Moment

I've just had two beautiful reminders of how sweet "time" is. First, Jenna posted this video that made me want to cry. It is so funny and so vulnerable and so capturing. I love these friends.



It made me ache because I feel like I haven't engaged in a while. It inspired me to really become part of this beautiful weave. God has put us each in each other's lives for a reason. I don't want to miss out on what He has purposed!

Then, I went over to Hannah's blog and she writes:


A while back I read on Ann's blog about blessings. I have been thinking on how little time I have left in this season of my life. Who knows what will happen after those six months I am gone... Things will never again be as they are now.

So I want to remember.

I want to praise Him for who He is to me. In this moment.

For the gifts of His love that surround me. For these precious few days I have left.

I will praise His beauty in the now.

God, awaken the eyes of my heart to see the beauty, the good, the pure, the lovely, and the right. I will see You.

"Those who look to Him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame." Psalm 34:5



I just really want to capture these moments I have here. Every breath is so precious. I feel like I've just been drolling day to day. I hate that. That's not what life is. Life is grasping the moment. Throwing your heart into the ring.

My friend Jenna is leaving in less than a week for Australia. My best friend Hannah will be going to Switzerland in a few months. My buddy Nick is leaving for Germany in 3 months. I am going to Sweden in 3 and then California! What? That's really happening?

It doesn't seem like all of this is real. But it is! I have absolutely CHERISHED these times with these friends. Oh my goodness, Lord, let me not take them for granted. Every moment I can spend with them is SO precious.

Lord, get me out of my little box. I want my heart to be free to love, free to be who I am in You. I am beautiful and I want to offer this beauty to my friends and family.

Lord, let me be a radiant smile, a caring hug, a kind word.

I love you Jesus. You make me worthy of love.

I love you friends. I hope you know that!

All my love,
- Jess <><

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Metamorphosis




I am learning the value of completely relying on Jesus, and on His sacrifice.

I am learning the truth of "I can do nothing to earn or un-earn His love."

I am blossoming from my cocoon into the butterfly I am meant to be. It is messy and birth-like.

Thank you Jason Thompson for speaking on Sunday... you really spoke words from God's heart that I needed to hear.

Thank you Dawn for speaking truth.

Thanks Mom for confirming the butterfly thing.

Thanks God for bringing me through this time, as hard as it's been. I trust you.

- Jess <><

Friday, February 29, 2008

Tagged - 123 Meme!

Ha ha... unbelievable. It's my political science book. Get ready to jump into the world of international relations... yeeeaah!!

Here are the rules to the game:
1. Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. No cheating!
2. Find page 123.
3. Find the first 5 sentences.
4. Post the next 3 sentences.
5. Tag 5 people.

Okay, before I pick up the book, I am going to trust that God will bring out of this something good. I love you Jesus, no matter what... even if it's ridiculous!!! Actually, especially if it's ridiculous.

:)

Here goes:

"When Olympic champions step atop the ceremonial stand to receive their gold medal, their country's flag is raised and its national anthem is played. Furthermore, states are the most powerful of all political actors. Some huge companies approach or even exceed the wealth of some poorer countries, but no individual, company, group, or international organization has anywhere near the coercive power wielded by most states."

States are the political identity for most people.

Let's metaphor-ize:

In the same way, when we "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called [us] heavenward" our "identity" is in Christ Jesus. He is the most powerful state and our high priest. Nothing, no principality, no darkness, can ever separate us from the love of God. His power is the biggest out there. None can compare.



Wow, I just want to fall in love with Jesus. He is soo good. Soooo beautiful. What a man. What a God.

Blessings to all.

Pass this on to your friends! :)

I will tag Jourdan, Emily C., and then the rest of the people I would tag have already been tagged!

- Jess <><

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Jessica: Looking forward!

I am 18 years old, and God has blessed me beyond measure.

I had a fabulous birthday! I don't have school on Fridays, so this birthday was DIVINE. I devoted the entire day to NO homework, and did what I wanted to do THE WHOLE DAY. It was fabulous. I got my nails done, had lunch with my sister at Southridge, got color in my hair and chopped it off, then had the most amazing get-together of friends. I am in relationship with the most wonderful people. You know who you are, and thank you for being part of my life!

My parents and I took a trip to California last weekend to visit my future school. I've been accepted into the architecture program at Cal Poly University in San Luis Obispo. Starting in the Fall, I will be studying my little heart out in the beautiful hills of San Luis.

What I found on my trip FAR exceeded my hopes and dreams. It was as if God hand-picked this area for me.

Or hand-picked me for this area... :) I'm up for both...

It really put me at peace to be able to have a picture to go along with what I expected. Spending 3 or 4 days there was exactly what I needed, and I have to say, I cannot wait to go back!

People ask me about the weather down there, and... it was gorgeous! It rained a couple days in the morning, but then around 10:00 AM, the clouds parted and revealed a stunning blue-sky day.

The whole geography of the place is astounding. The hills are stunning, completely beckoning me to climb them! The ocean was gorgeous. The campus was Perfect. I am so pleased to call Cal Poly my future home!

One thing that blew me away was the unbelievable kindness of every single person we met. There was not an unsatisfied face among them! Every person we talked to flippin' raved about the school and the town. My parents and I couldn't be happier. The people were great, the food was great, the shopping is great! :)

God set up a few divine appointments during our trip. One was to meet a pretty (inside and out) Christian 5th year architecture student at the place we were staying. We talked about faith, doing what you're created to do, and bringing that into your design. She welcomed my parents and I to check out her design lab. Wow. It was amazing!

I'm so excited to be out on my own: to explore for myself, create an identity for Jesus to shine through, find new places, meet new people. I'm giddy.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me, loved me, protected me, and cherished me throughout the years! Words cannot express my gratitude. You propel me forward and I go with you in my heart.

Blessings upon blessings for you and your house,
Love - Jessica <><

Monday, January 28, 2008

Character Counts

I wrote this essay for a scholarship opportunity through the Grand Canyon State Games. Just thought I would share it.

It was really hard to not write about God, but I think the truth of these statements are as much a testimony to His character as actually mentioning His name would be. :)



Chevrolet and Character – Like a Rock

"Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike."
— Theodore Roosevelt


In the same way that a building cannot stand without a proper foundation, so a person cannot stand without a foundation of good character. Integrity, honesty, and trustworthiness are just a few of the many values that demonstrate good character. These qualities are crucial to building strong relationships, enhancing a person’s inherent gifting, and exuding a personality that encourages others.

Building a relationship is like building a house. The foundation is the most vital step. The following is an account regarding two men who built new houses: one built his on a foundation of sand, the other on rock. When the storm raged and the rain came down, the house of sand crumbled, but the house built on the rock stood firm. A peaceful relationship is based on elements of good character – integrity, honesty, and trustworthiness - so that when conflicts arise, the establishment stands unshaken.

As humans, we are constantly faced with decisions that demand a response. Our character provides a basis for us to act upon. For example, as a boy is running in the park, the woman listening to her headphones in front of him unknowingly drops a twenty-dollar bill from her pocket. In this moment, the young man has a choice to make. Will he operate out of deception and greed and keep the bill, or will he choose to employ honesty and trustworthiness as the agents of his action? In this way, our core values directly influence and guide our behavior. Just as an apple tree cannot produce oranges, a person’s “fruit” is telling of the inner character of that person. Every moment, we have the opportunity to determine what kind of fruit will accompany our name.

A person’s “gifting” is what he or she uniquely has to offer the world. This gifting can be powerful, but without character, it can be dangerous. Many a leader has fallen to deception, dishonesty, or selfish ambition as a result of the intoxication of power. Like a kite tethered by a string, so a man’s gifting must be held taut by the qualities of good character within that man. Only then can he fly with strength and honor.

As ambassadors for the world, we must be grounded in truth and right character. We must make a habit of doing right things right in every area of our lives: in the workplace, in our interpersonal relationships, and in our own personal lives. This world needs a people who will walk with integrity in relationships and in their gifting through every moment of choice. Like a foundation, like a kite-string, like a rock – character provides the roots necessary for this sort of life to thrive.




Friday, January 25, 2008

All In All



I want to be:

Wildly submissive and
love-centered
Radically set apart
for His purposes
Infinitely focused
on His identity
Eternally intent upon
His Ways and Precepts
Forever enthralled
with the One who has
stolen my heart.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Chuck and Huck




Laughing my face off. This is hysterical.

I just registered to vote in the Washington Primaries on the 19th! WHOO!

VOTE MIKE HUCKABEE!

- Jess <><

Friday, January 04, 2008

Input and Output


Through this time of fasting and praying, I've been recognizing this mandate to only put into my eyes, mouth, spirit, mind what is pure and good. What I put into my system is crucial. It's like worshiping the Father.

We honor him by not only what comes out of our person but what goes into it.


I sincerely believe that our bodies, souls, spirits are intrinsically linked - that every single thing we put in through our physical senses, emotional senses, and spiritual senses have a profound effect on the other parts too.

I have a friend who, when she enters into a dark spiritual atmosphere, her stomach hurts and she feels sick. Now, how could this transfer - from spiritual reality to physical reality - take place if the mind, body, and spirit were not wholly connected with the others?



Jesus commands us to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." - Mark 12:30



I'm realizing that we, as Christians, are an example for those around us. I've been convicted lately of what other people see in me. I want them them to see the beauty in me... the God in me. As a Jesus-representative, I want to eliminate those things in me that cloud over people's perception of who Christ is. I want to be a clear reflection of His Majesty and Love. He's so good, and so big, and I don't want to get in the way. I want to cooperate with Heaven. In all things.



1 Thessalonians 5:23
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.



I love you Daddy, and I choose to honor you by only putting into my system things that will bless you and then allow me to function as your extension on the earth.

Thanks God for the revelation,
- Jess <><